Unhappily Ever After

- Season 2

(1995)

Feeling lonely, and for the sake of the wayward Malloy kids, Jennie tries to heal the family by letting Jack move back - into the basement. Mr. Floppy thinks they're going to Paris.

Ryan gets his own back on Tiffany by setting the bathroom scales ten pounds heavy, causing her to go into a tailspin at a time when she is embattled by having her first pimple, minuscule but devastating to her fragile ego. Tiffany flounders in her quest to make up for her 'lost looks' by developing a personality. Jack questions where his loyalty should lay.

Jack wants sex, Jenny wants to talk, and talk, and talk some more, so Jack retreats back to the basement, where he admits his love to a dismayed Mr. Floppy just as a psychopathic rat is on the loose. The neighbor's cat gets drafted into service, only to come to a grisly end. Tiffany gets a bright idea to get rid of the rodent, but Jack's dislike of Barbara Streisand could have lethal consequences.

Jack has to square up and go a round with a big, burly neighbor, because Jennie and the wife next door have been in a quarrel about stolen avocados and a garden sprinkler.

Jennie gets the opportunity to date the rock hero of her teenage dreams. But how to slip it past Jack? How about if they play a game where both of them get to choose a celebrity they could be with, partner's blessing included?

The kids take to the road. Learner driver Tiffany is a demon behind the wheel of the family car. Nightmare ride for Jack. Ryan regresses to a childhood memory of running over the family cat.

Sheila enters the household. Sheila had been Jennie's dream. Sheila is a glass table. No gravy will be served at dinner - Sheila must be kept spotless. Revolt is in the air. And when it comes to bringing down Sheila, shattering Jennie's dream, guess which boy is gonna be the patsy?

Tiffany's nemesis, blond bully girl Patty McGurk, wants to beat her up Friday at three. Ryan has an unusual defense force. Jennie wants to go to Hawaii, Jack wants to go to Vegas, and stay-at-home Mr. Floppy finds more than ample solace in fantasizing about being cuddled by dream-girls.

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P is for - Priddy High? Ryan finally finds something he is a whiz at - Helping the football team pass their urine tests. Tiffany is out in the cold, ousted as the favorite child.

Ryan and Tiffany's joy rides come to an end when Jack pretends to steal the family car, but his plan backfires when the car is actually stolen.

Inspired by a French movie, Jennie wants the ideal family picnic. Much to the dismay of everyone else. Weaving 'flowers' into Tiffany's hair turns disastrous, Ross gets bitten by a rabid gopher, and Jack falls down a precipice. All just to prove a point: Watching foreign movies is bad for your health.

A disgruntled meter maid gets Jack to face the music for Jennie's parking violation. In jail. With a cannibal as a cellmate.

Virgo Ryan scores at long last. With a Capricorn. In a Taurus. No, that's not a lot of bull.

Tiffany finally meets her match when a boy pretends to ignore her. She thinks she's in love.

More mid-life crisis for Jack. He doesn't want Ryan to beat him at basketball for the very first time. Because then he's an old man. Plus, Mr. Floppy spells out what is wrong with America.

Jennie lives vicariously through Tiffany being in the school play, 'Romeo and Juliet.' Childhood dream of Jennie, to be Juliet. And a scheme hatched to realize this. The bard is gonna turn over in his grave.

Mr. Floppy writes a dark and twisted tale, his autobiography. Down in the cellar, Jennie picks it up, and reckons Jack to be the new writing sensation. Tiffany believes they are all going to be rid of their middle class stigma. Happy days, happy family. Then Jack reads the sordid tale. He insists on a happy ending. But then the whole cake falls flat.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the smartest of them all? Tiffany tests her mettle among the geniuses and discovers she might be just average, but then gives some real-life advice to a group of frumpy Gifted Girls. And Jack and Mr. Floppy revels in the show's original theme tune.

School's out, Jack works the night-shift, and Ryan gets fired from his first day on the job. Home for summer. The kids drive Jennie crazy, and she turns to liquid support. In her drunken state, Mr. Floppy reveals Jack's alter ego to her, in more ways than one.

Ryan brings home Crystal, a fetching blonde several years his senior. And already with two children. He thinks she's marriage material. Everybody else thinks he's nuts. They want her out. And Mr. Floppy has a thing about shoes. Ladies' shoes. Tiffany's patent leather. But then he gets squashed.