The Green Green Grass

- Season 4

(2009)

Marlene feels that Boycie is neglecting her and sees a marriage counsellor but this only increases her dissatisfaction and she throws her husband out. Bryan offers him a roof over his head,his caravan, but not a bed as a sick sheep is using it so Boycie has to sleep on the floor. But the Boyces cannot stay apart for long, and, after Marlene has has a girlie chat with Mrs. Cakeworthy, a reconciliation is on the cards.

Searching through his loft Boycie discovers an ancient scroll giving the recipe for Ye Potato Cyder and a Royal charter giving him the rights to produce and sell it. This leads him to set up his own distillery on the farm and to buy up all the potatoes in the area. He attracts a lot of attention, though unfortunately this includes the attention of the Driscoll brothers who return to reclaim what was buried on Boycie's land and to burst his bubble.

Bored with her routine Marlene takes up photography. She also gets involved in charity work through which she and Boycie meet smooth-talking Tristram. Overhearing Tristram on the phone saying that there might be a knighthood involved leads Boycie to assume the knighthood is for him and he's happy to play host until it dawns on him that Tristram swings both ways and fancies him. Marlene, meanwhile, creates a charity calendar, featuring shots of the local men in the nude along with doctored photos presenting a nude Tyler and Boycie.

The Animal Freedom protesters arrive in the village - two lads who stick flyers all over the butcher's van,throw paint-bombs at Llewellyn and target the pub. Boycie organizes his staff into a vigilante group to protect his interests but for Tyler, needing money for his band Puddle of Agony and told by his father to stand on his own two feet financially, the situation provides a window of opportunity.

Tyler is extremely depressed,off his food and coming out with some extremely gloomy art-work. Mrs. Cakeworthy finds out why - he has had a letter from Beth finishing with him. Man-to-man talks from Jed and Bryan fail to help him out of his situation so Marlene's mother arrives to bond with him, get drunk and restore the boy to his usual cheery - if less than cerebral - self.

Boycie and Marlene travel to Tyler's university to watch his band Puddle of Agony perform its first gig. Unfortunately Tyler chose the first day of the vacation for its debut and the Boyces are virtually the only people in the audience. Back in the village the staff meet a couple who say they are psychic researchers out to find ghosts. They get an invite back to the farm where the staff hope that they can money by dressing up as ghosts and impressing the visitors. Sadly the two supposed ghost hunters are also not what they seem.

Boycie decides that it is time for the world to receive his memoirs, a heart-warming story of how Aubrey Boyce, a boy from the back streets of Peckham, became a successful land-owner and gentleman farmer. He sits down to recite his memories into a tape recorder - and the result is some forty clips incorporating flashbacks to 'Only Fools and Horses' and his dealings with the Trotter brothers. He is pleased with the result. Marlene finds it hilarious.

There are rooms at the farm-house full of clutter from the old squire's belongings and when 'The Antiques Road Show' is announced as coming to the area Marlene decides it's time for a clear-out and the opportunity to make some money. The staff all agree. Boycie is not convinced until he hears that the lovely Fiona Bruce will be turning up to front the show. But with so much enthusiasm and supposed antiques how come the best the household can come up with is an old commode and some stuffed hedgehogs?

Marlene wants to celebrate her wedding anniversary with Boycie and hires a marquee and a band and caterers. As the guest list gets ever bigger Marlene has a terrible shock. She discovers from her solicitor in Peckham that she and Boycie were never legally married. Still with a marquee and a band and caterers and all those guests all you need is a vicar to rectify the situation.