The Green Green Grass

- Season 2

(2006)

Sneaky Llewellyn rats on Boycie for using artificial fertilizer on his supposedly organically grown crops and an E.U. farming inspector calls. Boycie manages to cheat him but at a price - he has been so concerned he has lost sleep and,thanks to a home-made sleeping potion, he loses his hair as well.

Whilst Tyler suffers on the rugby field trying to impress new girlfriend Beth, daughter of the pub landlord, his parents decide he needs extra tuition with his school work and engage Simon, a home tutor who falls for Marlene. When Boycie interrupts them kissing he mistakes it for an epileptic fit and when he tries to give Simon mouth-to-mouth resuscitation it's Boycie who now has an admirer.

Tired of her laziness, Boycie sacks Mrs. Cakeworthy, despite warnings from the lads that she is a witch and will put a curse on him. Sure enough a ram's head is nailed to the door and a voodoo doll appears, causing Boycie to have a nightmare and eventually reinstate her. Little does he know that this charade was Marlene's doing as she missed having someone to talk to.

Tyler has become a vegetarian like girlfriend Beth and they are off to protest about animal rights. Marlene agrees with their views and decides that the birds in the fields should not be shot but dealt with humanely. Thus Elgin makes a scarecrow but Beth sees it lying around and mistakes it for a corpse, calling the police. Beth is annoyed to see Tyler eat a hamburger and even more shocked to catch Boycie in the nude when Marlene,who has decided to open a beauty salon on the farm, is giving him a massage.

Marlene and Mrs. Cakeworthy are intrigued to hear that Laurence, a French exchange student, is coming to the farm and expect it to be a handsome young boy. In fact she is a pretty girl, which is all too much for Marlene. Tyler proposes to Beth and gives her a ring but it's a tatty old thing that Marlene got in the sixties and Beth is not at all pleased.

Whilst Boycie's farm is doing unusually well, Llewellyn is strapped for cash and challenges his neighbour to a pub quiz with a high stakes cash prize. Needless to say Marlene and the staff are a rubbish team against Llewellyn's team of teachers. But then Tyler turns up, looking for revenge after Llewellyn's little stunt teaching him to be pro-Welsh and puts his dad's side back in the running and coasting for victory.

Boycie is less than overjoyed to learn that Marlene's sister Petunia - or Pertunia, as he pronounces it - is coming for a visit not just because they don't like each other, she feeling that Marlene married beneath herself, but because he also fears that the Driscoll brothers may have followed her from Peckham. He even insists she is blindfold coming from the station to the farm so she will not know the route. His fears are not unfounded after he finds Bryan, who has taken a fancy to her, and the other farm staff tied up in the barn. The Driscolls have arrived, but are...

When Boycie's dog gets Llewellyn's bitch pregnant, Mrs. Cakeworthy misunderstands the Welshman's rantings and assumes that Tyler has got Beth pregnant. Due to a further misunderstanding Tyler assumes that Mrs. Cakeworthy is pregnant,which results in both Beth's father and Mr. Cakeworthy getting riled and Boycie getting punched. Tyler does give Beth a horse for Christmas but Boycie falls victim to a scam by his workers to scare off Old Bones, a supposed evil spirit.