Rab C. Nesbitt

- Season 3

(1993)

With Mary in hospital for an operation Rab and Jamesie take Burney and Gash to Blackpool to take their minds off things. Predictably the mercenary boys prefer to spend the day with Mary's wealthy brother Shug and his wife, leaving Jamesie to lead Rab in the pursuit of two London girls. In Rab's case it is a poignant encounter, making him grateful for what he's got, the more so when he and the newly-discharged Mary meet the venomous old woman who was in the bed next to Mary.

Mary gets a cleaning job with the lecherous Mr Friel, who can't stop touching her. Fearing that she may dump him, Rab invests in 'Stay Hard' cream, a fact which Mary, already overwhelmed by sex mad men,is not in a position to appreciate. Fortunately Davina, the new barmaid and a pre-op transsexual, is on hand to put Mr Friel in his place.

Burney is considered to be a gifted painter and starts to attend special ability weekend classes. Whilst Mary is the proud mother Rab and Gash are both extremely jealous. Rab changes his tune when he is made to feel a 'somebody' after his son paints his portrait but before long Burney loses his muse and his inspiration.

After fifteen years of marriage the Cotters are still childless and Ella feels broody but Jamesie is impotent. Against doctor's advice Rab agrees to be a surrogate father but then it is revealed that Ella is also barren but when she sees the perpetually pregnant Isa she is almost grateful.

With riots on the streets of Govan,Rab jobless and Gash buying drugs from the ice cream man Mary is a bag of nerves but smug right wing councillor Sandy McKean is no help when she seeks his advice, leading her to take the law into her own hands. When McKean has her arrested Rab and Gash show him the real meaning of family values.

A drunken, ranting Rab C. Nesbitt spends a night in the cells with a silent, suicidal cell-mate. To make things worse the policeman guarding them tells Rab that his miserable life has driven him to the end of his tether and produces a gun to kill them all.