Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man

- Season 4

(1997)

When Duckman becomes a movie mogul, the glamour, fame and opulence quickly go to his head. Only when he is forced to confront the people he's alienated is he brought - quickly - back to earth, in action scenes featuring the three biggest stars in Hollywood. Julie Moran of "Entertainment Tonight" guests voices as herself with Brendan Fraser.

When Duckman makes an expensive bet hinging on Ajax performing well during an athletic competition, he finds that he has no athletic skills, and ends up adopting a fellow student in better physical shape -- popular rapper Coolio.

After killing Fluffy and Uranus once more, Duckman is arrested and sent to prison. A women's prison, to his surprise.

The agency gets a college intern who simultaneously indulges Duckman's self-destructive behavior and undermines Cornfed's reputation. Duckman must finally choose between his loyal companion and the flashy new assistant - who may be trying to kill him. Guest voice by Chris Elliot.

Duckman discovers that an old high school classmate has become homeless due to something Duckman did 20 years ago, and his guilt-ridden attempts to help miraculously make the guy's life even worse. Peter Scolari guests as Brad.

Cornfed, Charles and Mambo take pity on Duckman and his pathetic love life, combining their vast scientific knowledge to create the ultimate aphrodisiac for him. Beautiful women by the dozens start finding him irresistible, but when one very special (and famous) woman falls for him after he runs out of love potion, no one believes it's for real.

Duckman and his family take a vacation to an "Indian Reservation" - which ends up being a casino. Obnoxious and crass as usual, Duckman captures the attention of an esteemed psychologist who attempts to help the family before it violently self-destructs. Finding "common ground" by bashing on Duckman, they all realize that, no matter what, they are the only family they've got. Guest voices include the Native American actor Russell Means, Steven Weber and Dana Delany.

Cornfed accidentally drinks a potion that reduces his intelligence to the point where he is as stupid as Ajax.

Cornfed throws Duckman a surprise party but he is the only one who shows up. Duckman realizes that there is a reason he doesn't have any friends and must change. In a quest for friends, he happens upon a trendy coffee shop where he scalds himself, gaining the friendship of five hip "twentysomethings" in the process. The gang of "friends" embrace Duckman and meet daily to talk about obscure pop culture references. The "friends" are guest voices by Alison LaPlaca, Teresa Randle, Laura Leighton, Ayre Gross and Jeremy Sisto.

Duckman and Cornfed travel to a private investigator's convention where Duckman is slated to receive the "Lifetime Achievement Award". There Duckman runs into his former rival from his detective school days, Lauren Simone, who's become a successful sleuth. The two attempt to humiliate each other in front of their peers at the expense of Cornfed. Amy Brenneman guest voices as Lauren.

In a send-up of the music industry, Bernice's passionate harangue of Duckman at a karaoke contest leads to a new career as a singing sensation. The family is supportive of Bernice's new profession (as horrible as she is) until she loses herself in a fast-paced world of rock'n roll. Joe Mantegna guest voices as Rube Rector, and Kurt Loder voices as himself. Dom De Luise, Flea and Ice-T also guest voice.

While chasing after Beverly, (Bernice and Beatrice's long lost sister) - they are triplets), and mistaking her for his dead wife Beatrice, Duckman gets hit by a bus. The only way to save him is to make him believe that Beatrice is actually alive. When Duckman is better, the family decides that Beverly will stay on with them while Bernice is in Washington fulfilling her duties as a Congresswoman. Vicki Lawrence, Eugene Levy, Ben Stein, John Rubano and Kathleen Freeman guest voice.

Duckman's bitter Uncle Moe announces that he has only weeks to live and wants to spend them with his least favorite relative - Duckman. Duckman is convinced by his family to do his best for Moe in his last days. Duckman tries so hard that Moe admits to faking his illness just to torture Duckman. They get in a heated argument, Moe keels over ... and dies. Robert Klein provides the voice for Uncle Moe, and Joe Walsh is himself, singing a song written by Duckman in Moe's honor. Other guest voices include Bob Guccione and Joe Mantegna.

After Duckman and Cornfed are evicted, they become plumbers, and are hired to work during a high-society party for the unveiling of a jewel said to be cursed.

A blaxploitation spoof involves Duckman getting involved with Ebony Sable, a model/private eye.

After hearing Duckman rant about the stupidity of baseball in a bar, an old geezer drops dead - and wills him his minor-league baseball team. In an attempt to increase attendance, Duckman stages wacky and dangerous promotional nights. When the humiliated players quit, Duckman is forced to come up with a new team. Inspired by a supermodel commercial with Kathy Ireland, Duckman pulls together a team of scantily clad supermodel ballplayers. The models are voiced by Kathy Ireland herself, Jill Goodacre, Nicole Eggert, Maureen McGovern, and Alison Moir. Chick Hern voices ...

As the family wonders if Grandma-ma's mind is active, she recalls her youth in a series of flashbacks. The flashbacks hilariously parody the immigrant experiences as portrayed in films like Ragtime and Hester Street, with some Tolstoy and Doctor Zhivago thrown in. Nancy Travis voices Grandma-ma as a young woman.

Duckman needs a new kidney in order to survive, but his only living relatives are not suitable donors. When Duckman thaws out his cryogenically-frozen father, the kidney does not match: his father is not his father! Duckman finds his biological father, who turns out to be a loony militia-man. Still, father and son bond and the old man is touched by Duckman. Thus, he cuts out his own kidney and gives it to him. James Brown guest voices as himself offering Duckman some soulful advice, along with Brian Keith and John Astin.

When Tami, a cute but impoverished college coed twists her ankle in front of his house, an infatuated Duckman offers her a job working for the family. She turns out to be wonderful, but the only problem is Beverly who often has embarrassing drunken escapades. The truth is that a deranged Tami has been drugging her morning tea. As Tami turns the family into a seething cauldron of hatred, a suspicious Cornfed finds a clipping in the library revealing her as a raging psychopath who falls in love with married men, killing her wives and then them. Kim Cattrall guest voices...

Bev's arrival in the house makes Duckman miss Beatrice desperately. He gives into the persuasive sales pitch of Terry "Duke" Tetzloff and buys a "factory-second, slightly-blemished bride". The bride arrives ... and she is a feral jungle savage, whom Duckman names "Kathie Lee". Duckman proposes marriage to Kathie Lee on a "Surprise Proposals" episode of Leeza (a live-action sequence), which goes tragically awry. Guest voices include Kristen Johnston as Kathie Lee, Leeza Gibbons as herself, John Astin and Harve Presnell.

The Duckman family hones in on Cornfeld's plans to visit his Aunt Jane's ranch in Louisiana. They arrive on the eve of a massive catfish drive - and in an obvious but legally defensible rip-off of every cliché from classic Westerns, especially "Red River" - they're beset by raging rivers and terrifying stampedes. Guest voices include Estelle Getty as Aunt Jane and Ron Palillo as himself.

Beverly and Bernice are having trouble dealing with the idea of having a stranger for a twin, and decide to go on a camping trip to bond. Their plans are thwarted when Duckman latches on, bringing Cornfed as his guide, and Fluffy and Uranus as his trash collectors. Duckmsn's ranting causes the family to be exiled from the campground, and forced into a more untamed area. In a gripping of series of action sequences in the jungle, Duckman's self-reliance comes up short and he keeps injuring Cornfed, Clouseau-style. Tom Wilson, Jim Bailey and Maureen McGovern guest voice.

In this nightmare of modern marketing, Duckman sells his identity to a giant corporation which leaves him penniless and nameless. Forced to work as a Wacky "Duckman" Mascot, he conceives a desperate plan to get back his name and/or self-respect. Guest voices include Paul Sorvino, Gilbert Gottfried and Alan Rosenberg.

Congresswoman Bernice is attracting national attention as an anti-smoking activist, but no one pays more heed than the heads of the tobacco companies. A CEO invites Bernice and her family on a fact-finding mission to "Tabaccyland" to see for themselves that the industry is just decent hard-working folk who happen to make their livelihood from a product that kills people. Brian Doyle Murray and Jim Varney guest voice.

Working late one night, Duckman and Cornfed see the ghost of Duckman's father, who says he was murdered - by King Chicken. With his wife out of town, King is currently seeing Bernice, so Duckman decides to hang out with them, trying to determine the truth without seeming suspicious. Cornfed quickly recognizes that Duckman is living the plot of "Hamlet" with King as Claudius, Bernice as Gertrude and himself as Horatio. Duckman doesn't care; he must have his revenge. Robert Klein guest voices as Duckman's deceased Uncle Moe and Jeffrey Tambor voices Jacobs.

Having been convicted of a wide assortment of morals charges, Duckman is sentenced to community service as a substitute teacher in an inner-city high school. Having seen every "Classroom Hell" movie ever made, Duckman prepares for the worst. After a rough beginning, as the kids are so well behaved, Duckman vows to teach them what really matters: the world according to Duckman. Burt Reynolds guest voices as Judge Keaton.

After eating exactly the wrong thing, Leonard Nimoy has a nightmare involving the cast of Duckman as Star Trek characters.

On the day of multiple weddings, a big secret is revealed.