The Brittas Empire

- Season 3

(1993)

Gordon's obsession with cleanliness and dealing properly with lost property interferes with an elaborate drug deal in the Leisure Centre, making him the target of suspicion and eventually a trial.

When Laura explains to Gordon that the staff has sent him to 'Coventry' (as he never noticed), because of his insensitive abuse of security recordings to criticize their 'unappealing physical appearance', he hires psychologist Dr. Matthews to diagnose the source of aggravation in the center. Before the doc proves it's Gordon, horror strikes in the form of a live tarantula sent to Brittas from a millionaire with a grudge. The nearly fatal giant arachnid, however, proves helpful for the greatest local hazard.

Helen panics to hear Laura is away postulating for a managers post in London. Meanwhile maths teacher Jackson's patience is tested when he tries to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine, given the paperwork and camera check for a 5 p. refund. Colin has a concussion, so his way of following simplified instructions is even more dangerous for a whole pool of Pentecostals holding a baptism ceremony. Carole's illicit baby-care drives Brittas to provoke the whole staff.

Helen is desperate to get rid of Gordon's non-identical twin brother, Reverend Horatio Brittas, who was scheduled to become dean of Beirut, but turns to his twin with a vocational crisis. Alas, there is another explosive problem with gas leaking from a tank. Meanwhile, a whole busload of youngsters from another leisure center are visiting Whitbury--to score points in a game using Brittas-isms.

Brittas has the whole staff raise £2500 for a new trampoline via various sponsored activities, such as hunky Tim allowing people to throw wet sponges at him. Of course, things go wrong: Colin's juggling lands a ball in a high-tension wire. Meanwhile, Helen runs around scared to death after relapsing her worst pregnancy habit: shoplifting. Gordon's own sponsored silence-marathon is challenged to the limit when a certain Michael T. Farrell III from Chicago, Illinois, USA insists on talking to assistant-manager Laura on her birthday, even it it means paying the whole ...

Brittas prepares for Elderly Week by disguising himself as an obnoxious senior citizen--but is soon recognized by most of the staff members, who next receive questionnaires (except Laura, who is 'too old and has the wrong attitude') to find out who might be fit to succeed him eventually. Helen insists that Laura should drive her to hospital instead of Gordon, but fate decides that the daddy-to-be gets to drive mummy-to-be after all. Of course he sticks to every rule in the book, but of course they have an accident anyway and get stranded in the High Street.