The Army Game

- Season 4

(1959)

Dooley's teased for investing his money in superstitious nonsense, Flogger suggests a way to avoid being volunteered for rubbish dump duty, and the lads curse Snudge to put an end to his sudden lucky streak.

The War Office announce plans to sell off all of the redundant camps, the lads overhear a local farmer offering £200 for Nether Hopping, and Flogger's idea of making a better offer starts a bidding war with the City.

Flogger decides to have a little fun with the newest recruit in hut 29, Pocket refuses to believe the results of the cleanest hut competition, and Bootsie gives the lads a shock when he reads out a letter from home.

Attempts to avoid dirty work see the lads volunteered for drain duty, Bootsie takes it on himself to grant Snudge's pet budgie its freedom, and Flogger suggests finding a replacement so they can claim a reward.

The lads take bets on whether Snudge can manage to quit smoking, Bootsie reluctantly volunteers as his batman so he can monitor progress, and listening to a hypnosis record leads to an accusation of stealing.

Snudge ends talk of leave when food disappears from the cookhouse, a film made by a visiting ornithologist catches the thieves in action, and Flogger suggests that the lads should make a little film of their own.

Flogger's unimpressed when a shady acquaintance suddenly reappears, Snudge is delighted when unwanted poppies turn out to be lucrative, and information from a library book gives the lads cause for concern.

Bootsie gets a shock when he reads what the kids want for Christmas, Flogger picks the wrong dead cert when he tries to boost the kitty, and Snudge and Pocket battle over who should fill the Santa Claus costume.

Breaking out of camp to go to the races leaves the lads close to broke, Len puts an end to Flogger's plan to raise money for train tickets, and Snudge worries about what will happen if his little world is abolished.

Bootsie promotes himself in order to impress an officer in the WRENS, news that she is about to visit the camp sends him into a panic, and Flogger manages to come up with a plan involving an unexploded bomb.

Basher Briggs runs out of willing sparring partners after knocking out teeth, Bootsie finds an unexpected streak of bravery after a visit to the dentist, and standing up to Snudge leads to something of a mismatch.

Pocket has to defend Bootsie when he's accused of murdering Snudge, the court hear of displeasure at being put on ablution guard duty, and Flogger tries his best to paint a picture of a very beautiful friendship.

The lads are chosen for a long march record attempt after a night at the dogs, Snudge announces that he's tagging along to keep an eye on them, and Flogger makes a few calls after reading that it's to be televised.

The Chairman of the Messing Committee hits a snag with the New Year whisky, the lads decide to raffle off hooch so they can buy the real thing, and the arrival of a Scotsman in hut 29 leads to a battle of the bottles.

Len gets spotted in the village when he's supposed to be on guard duty, Pocket's pleased when the solution seems to involve a twin-brother, and a suspicious Snudge tries desperately to prove that it's all just a trick.

Pocket faces being relieved of his commission after yet another mistake, the new commanding officer makes his expectations clear in hut 29, and Snudge isn't happy about his role being reduced to that of a NAAFI girl.

A designer arrives on camp with ideas on how to improve the barracks, Snudge fails to demonstrate that conditions are perfectly adequate, and the lads of hut 29 try to get used to having carpets and salad on demand.

Snudge is keen to use new psychological ideas to appeal to the men, an attempt to make activities more fun sees the lads playing Indians, and Bootsie responds to having a new father by regressing back to childhood.

A crate of miniature guided missiles are sent to Nether Hopping in error, Pocket tries to find out what happened to his aunt's elderberry wine, and Snudge demands that the lads try to launch one of the new weapons.

The radio and newspapers report of a convict breaking out of prison, Flogger provides papers to help him blend in with the lads of hut 29, and Snudge realises that capturing the man might be a feather in his cap.

Pocket launches Operation Sweet Tooth to appeal to Snudge's soft side, Flogger has to think fast when Len and Bootsie polish off a huge cake, and a voice in the paint shop suggests ingredients for the replacement.

Pocket can't understand why hut 29 haven't volunteered to guard a film star, Snudge tricks the lads into signing up for a job in the Antarctic, and Flogger realises that some good can come from having a criminal record.

Moosh tells the lads of his intention to marry a girl from the village shop, Snudge plots to keep newly created married quarters for himself, and Bootsie gets himself in a tangle after offering to pop the question.

Bootsie feigns illness to get out of attending Pocket's historical lectures, too much medication leads to a dream about being in Wellington's army, and more and more tablets leads further and further back into history.

Len struggles with the creative side of writing to the local MP, Pocket learns of a visit to investigate allegations of poor treatment, and Snudge accepts a bet about the the escapology skills of the new man in hut 29.

Snudge tells Pocket that he's sending his memoirs off to be published, a confiscated set brings an end to television nights in hut 29, and Flogger plots his revenge by arranging an appearance on the screen of Satan.

The lads wake up to a series of childish pranks on April Fools' Day, a Brigadier arrives at Nether Hopping in the hope of finding a new RSM, and Snudge tries to prove that he has the wit to outwit the wit of hut 29.

A sergeant and three privates need accommodation pending postings, the lads try to sneak back into camp after attending a village dance, and sharing a rain-soaked bivouac with rodents gives Flogger an idea.

A private from a decorated military family insists on staying in hut 29, Flogger's annoyed when fatigue duty gets in the way of placing a bet, and Snudge fails to be taken in by a sudden enthusiasm for physical exercise.

Bootsie returns to camp holding a baby that he was handed on a train, the lads agree to look after the child until Flogger can find the mother, and Snudge targets hut 29 in his investigation into a spate of thefts.

Pocket suggests a pen pal as an ideal outlet for feelings of loneliness, Bootsie realises that he hates Snudge even more than he hates custard, and two lost souls agree to meet each other at the Euston Station buffet.

Snudge unwittingly nominates himself as wireless telegraphy instructor, Baker worries that he'll be dumped by his girlfriend if he misses a date, and Flogger sends out a distress call from expedition in the Amazon.

A civilian expert is sent to the camp to sort out efficiency problems, Snudge is furious when parades are deemed to be a waste of time, and the lads form a union to protest against the new way of doing things.

Bootsie drives the camp mad with the sound of his trumpet blowing, the Brigadier decides to visit after hearing the camp bugler over the phone, and waking up at 06:00 proves more difficult to master than Reveille.

Bootsie insists that he is innocent when accused of writing obscenities, Flogger suggests stealing a secret document to attract allegations, and Snudge spots an opportunity to catch a traitor returning from Russia.

The local vicar makes a complaint about his choirboys being beaten up, the lads send Bootsie to Coventry after finding him guilty of cowardice, and an open day leaves Snudge looking for information about a rematch.

Bootsie gets himself into trouble while working in the boiler room, a magazine article leads to thoughts of being the first man on the moon, and meeting the locals suggests that life in space isn't all that different.

Bootsie contracts a nasty strain of the flu after refusing the injection, Snudge ends up ill in the next bed after accusations of malingering, and Flogger comes up with a plan to spend some time with the local ladies.