Oh No, It's Selwyn Froggitt

- Season 1

(1976)

Selwyn tries to impress his boss by telling him he reads the Times newspaper. When that doesn't work, he tell him he was a sergeant in the army and it was all a secret operation. He is a lout, braggart, practical joker, self important, unmarried and a pain to everyone around him, but he is the best hole digger in Yorkshire. People start running when they see him coming. Hence the series title.

Maurice wants Selwyn out of the house when his lady friend Vera comes for tea, so he gets the guys from the club to make up an activity for him to keep him away. They tell him there is a football match on the moors and they need him to referee. He is armed with a map and a white coat and off he goes. The place they sent him to is an abandoned pitch and he returns home. Vera is still there and she offers to give him a big kiss and he runs back to the club, and tells the boys that he knew they were just having a joke with him.

As Selwyn is digging a hole, he is throwing the dirt all over Clive's car. Clive challenges him to a duel. Selwyn agrees to play dominoes for the duel and wins. He stands up, upsets the table and spills beer all over the members of the club. Clive submits that Selwyn should be barred from the club for all the damages he causes every day. He gets a verbal warning, then decides to run for the club committee.

After winning the election, Selwyn makes 54 proposals at the meeting and everyone votes for him to be the entertainment manager just to end the meeting. He seems to think he can get Sammy Davis Jr. to come to the club for £20. While on stage, he is told Sammy will not be coming. To save face, he starts singing "Blue Suede Shoes" and he is a hit. The club made £96 for the night.

The club outing is Saturday and Selwyn want to go to the Taj Mahal. The committee vote for Blackpool, but Selwyn secretly books Stratford on Avon. When the coach does not show up, he sends the club members to his mother's to watch TV while they wait. The coach has been impounded and they are not going anywhere. When Selwyn goes to break the news to them he finds they have eaten his brother's birthday lunch, including the cake.

Selwyn's boss tasks him to find the city drains underground. They give him maps and send him out. He travels all around trying to match the map to the scenery and ends up digging out the gents toilets in the club. When he discovers the maps are metric, he moves on and ends up at his own house. It seems the drains are under his kitchen.

The committee are sent tickets to the Mayors Ball. When Selwyn sees that he has to bring a date, he panics. He is afraid of women and lies to the group about the woman he is taking. The group get an application for a dating service and ask him questions about what kind of woman he likes. He has no idea what they are up to. His date arrives and he knows her, so he is more comfortable to attend.