Mystery Science Theater 3000

- Season 5

(1992)

The guys watch "Space Travelers", an updated version of the movie Marooned (1969) about three astronauts trapped in a space capsule that is quickly losing oxygen. On the SOL, The Great Crowdini performs a stunt and the guys debate what they would do if one of them had to sacrifice themselves.

Joel and crew can't settle on which of two film actors in a giant carnivorous lizard movie are more like TV actor Tige Andrews or comedian David Miller.

Set in the future, a teenage gang battles a corporation for control of an abandoned city in City Limits (1984). Crow sings a song devoted to Kim Cattrall and the guys try their hand at a City Limits trivia game.

Joel and the Bots discover the difference between real and "reel" life, how to dispose of snacks in space, a real 'boss' visitor, and how JFK can wreck a fashion show in this episode featuring the classic "Teenagers From Outer Space".

Joel and the Bots watch a re-edited version of Time Walker (1982) called "Being From Another Planet" in which a mummy awakened by a university team goes on a killing spree. The Mads are awfully proud of their "Tragic Moments" figurines while Joel and the Bots play haunted house on the SOL.

Joel and the 'bots get water on the brain after an episode of Undersea Kingdom (1936) and Roger Corman's moldy horror flick, Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959).

A small town cowpoke straightens out some rowdy kids by making them put on a rodeo show in Junior Rodeo Daredevils (1949). A group of drunken scientists battle with dogs dressed as rabid shrews in The Killer Shrews (1959). Joel and the Bots concoct a Killer Shrew drink and the Mads are thwarted in their latest attempt to destroy the world.

Joel and the Bots watch a greased-up Steve Reeves get hypnotized and seduced by an Evil Queen in Ercole e la regina di Lidia (1959). The crew presents the Steve-O-Meter at the invention exchange and ponder the meaning of Hercules movies.

In the second installment of Undersea Kingdom (1936), the explorers are threatened by soldiers from Atlantis. Then in Indestructible Man (1956), an executed criminal goes on a rampage after being resurrected by mad scientists. Joel and the Bots plan an Undersea Kingdom parade and wonder what they would do if they were indestructible.

Joel and the Bots have another outing with Hercules in Maciste e la regina di Samar (1964). This time Hercules faces off with a cult of moon men who unleash a sandstorm on the world. The Mads explain deep hurting while Joel and the Bots sing a song about pants.

The crew pokes fun as a knight and his adopted mother try to save a damsel from an evil wizard in The Magic Sword (1962). Joel and the Bots get into the spirit of things by making medieval costumes.

The guys face off against Hercules once again as the strong man fights evil Queen Antinea to get his son back in Ercole alla conquista di Atlantide (1961). Joel and the Bots play with some lousy action figures and finally lay the Hercules series to rest.

Joel and the Bots watch an early episode of the soap opera behemoth General Hospital (1963) before watching a movie made of several edited television episodes about space pirates. On the SOL, Joel refuses to play soap opera with the Bots and the Mads get stuck in their bean bag chairs.

In Tormented (1960), a pianist thinks he has finally escaped his demanding mistress when she dies after a fall but her ghost comes back to haunt him and his fiancée. Joel gets stuck in a ventilation duct and the Bots are no help. But Joel has the last laugh later when Crow and Tom pretend to be headless ghosts.

Joel and the Bots watch a second segment from an early episode of General Hospital (1963) before watching a wannabe singer try to break free from his hoodlum friends in The Beatniks (1960). The Bots have a slumber party and Servo dramatizes the life of a 50s rock star.

Astronauts find a civilization almost entirely populated by women on one of the moons of Jupiter in Fire Maidens from Outer Space (1956). Joel and the Bots end up in over their heads when Timmy the Dark Crow starts causing trouble on the Satellite of Love.

The crew pokes fun at another segment of a 1960s episode of General Hospital (1963) before watching an astronaut attempt to stop two planets from colliding with each other in Crash of Moons (1954). The guys read through Crow's latest screenplay called "A Space Opera" and have a chat with John Banner on the Hexfield.

A pair of teens discover a band of multi-eyed aliens in The Eye Creatures (1967). Crow and Tom work through their "best friends" stage and the guys lament how much the filmmakers just didn't care. The Mads get a visit from Larry Buchanan in Deep 13.

A little boy wanders around the Canadian National Exhibition after his oblivious parents lose track of him in Johnny at the Fair (1947). Then it's time for another 1950s beatnik movie with The Rebel Set (1959) in which a shop owner convinces three losers to help him rob an armored car. Joel and the Bots take acting lessons and hold a writing workshop.

Joel and the Bots watch an alien infiltrate a scientist's human duplicator machine in The Human Duplicators (1965). On the SOL, the guys make spaceships from household objects and Servo shows off his duplicating skills.

The crew muses about a wacky short involving the Toronto Skating Club in Circus on Ice (1954). Then the guys watch Monster a Go-Go (1965) where a radiated astronaut has returned to Earth as a giant mutant. It's a battle of the action figures in the invention exchange when the Mads introduce Johnny Longtorso while Joel presents non-violent action figures.

Joel and the Bots learn the ins and outs of the circus in the short Here Comes the Circus (1946) and then try to make sense of the Nordic fairy tale film Sampo (1959). Joel and the Bots take a family photo and Gypsy puts on a one woman show called "Gypsy Rose Me!".

The guys check out the first installment of the short Hired! (1940) where a Chevrolet sales manager tries to boost door-to-door sales. Later, the guys watch a mad scientist's experiments attract the attention of the press and the police in Bride of the Monster (1955). Joel and the Bots stage "Hired: The Musical" and Willy the Waffle returns to defend blatant product placement.

The Mads present the satellite people a film so bad that apologies are sent, and Tom Servo goes off his nut from it.