Green Acres

- Season 2

(1966)

When the dreaded "bing bug" threatens all the crops in Hooterville, Oliver tries to rally the people to rid the town of the menace. He is then volunteered to be the one to fly the crop duster over the fields due to his experience as a pilot in World War II. It also gives him and Lisa a chance to reminisce about the first time they met after his engine failed during a mission.

Short on water, Mr. Haney contracts Willie the Well-Witcher to find a new spot to dig a well. But once Mr. Haney gets water, the Douglases lose theirs. After Willie witches a new well for Oliver, the Ziffles' water dries up. After a few more rounds of this, Oliver suggests the valley get its water from a reservoir. That idea sounds great, until the valves are opened.

The draft board sends Arnold Ziffel a conscription notice without realizing he is a pig.

A lovely young female farmer comes to Oliver for his professional help. He's glad to oblige, especially when he learns that she can cook. Lisa first becomes jealous of the time the two spend together. Then she becomes convinced they're having an affair, especially after overhearing Mrs. Ziffel describing the plot on her favorite soap opera.

Ralph is devastated when her true love, Hank Kimball, stands her up on another date. Lisa's solution is make Ralph more feminine. While she works at the mammoth task, Oliver is forced to sleep in the barn with Eb. Later, the "new" Ralph, complete with false eyelashes that stick together, is presented to the unsuspecting Mr. Kimball.

Oliver's back on his soap box, delivering fiery patriotic speeches after getting a bill for the State Farm Unattached Duty Tax. No one in Hooterville knows what the tax is for, so Oliver tries to contact his assemblyman. That's when he learns Hooterville hasn't held an election for one since 1922. He and Lisa travel to the state capital to meet the governor and remedy the situation.

Oliver describes to Lisa the book he's reading, hoping she'll have a greater appreciation of being a farm wife. Set on the frontier in 1887, poor farmer Gus Thompson and his surrogate mail-order bride Etta clear the land, start a farm from scratch, and have 25 children.

Eb is suddenly smitten with with Betty Jo Bradley and asks Oliver for some fatherly advice on romance. Recalling how his first evening out with Lisa cost him a fortune, Oliver advises Eb to make all of their evening's plans. That's just what Eb does--incorrectly--causing Betty Jo to cancel their date.

The Hooterville farmers have decided that Oliver is ruining the town's image by doing his farming chores in a suit. Oliver eventually gives in to their demand to wear overalls, but they weren't planning on the high-fashion pair that Lisa's dressmaker has designed.

James Stuart from the agricultural department wants to do a film on the pitfalls of new farmers. The locals think "Jimmy Stewart" is coming to make a big Hollywood movie so they all enroll in Haney's film-acting school. In the meantime, Oliver's farming practices prove especially embarrassing for the camera.

Tired of living in a dump, Lisa demands some serious home improvements. Oliver fires the Monroe brothers and hires an architect to draw up plans. Renovations come to a screeching halt thanks to the Monroes' picket line and famous Hootervillian Rutherford B. Skrug.

Oliver discovers that one of his chickens is laying square eggs, but he can't find out which one it is. In addition, he finds out that he has a toaster that only works when you say the word "five". When he mentions this to the boys at Drucker's, they sympathize with him for having an old model--they have new models that only work when you say "eight".

Sam Drucker is selling artificial Christmas trees that squirt "genuine spruce spray" from the top and ooze fake sap from the trunk. Oliver is horrified; he wants an old-fashioned Christmas with a real tree, but first he must get a permit from Mr. Kimball to chop one down. After decorating a real tree on Christmas Eve, the neighbors drop by the Douglases for an evening of songs and Lisa's "hotscake fruitscake."

It's tomato planting season and Oliver needs useful weather information. Hooterville relies on WPIXL-TV's Mildred, a little old lady who prances out of her dollhouse, or Walter, the singing weatherman. Both are always wrong so Oliver contacts the Weather Bureau which predicts warm days and nights. The plants are in the ground when Hooterville suffers the coldest night of the year. Lisa's Crepe Suzettes save the crop from the cold.

Oliver spends a lot of time in the principal's office when Lisa enrolls at Hooterville High. In school primarily for a cooking course, she also disrupts history class with her own version of Hungary's past, destroys the women's showers and explodes a chemistry lab.

Oliver misunderstands when the Hooterville bigwigs ask him to be a judge. He thinks he's being appointed an appellate judge, but they just want him to judge apples at the county fair. The Douglases travel to New York so Oliver can get some judging advice while Lisa shops for a robe and wig for His Honor.

Oliver's mother needs bed rest so she heads to her son's farm in Hooterville. All she has to do is ignore a noisy tractor, a ringing telephone, Alf and Ralph's drilling, dancing Sioux Indians, and their chief who thinks she's a looker.

The residents of Hooterville flock to nearby Bleedswell for jobs at the new defense plant. To keep people from leaving, Hooterville reopens its old airplane factory to fulfill its contract with the Army--signed during WWI.

Bored and looking for a project, Lisa becomes the head of the "Hooterville Human Humane Committee." She takes her cause to the extreme, declaring everything from duck hunting to selling chicken eggs off limits. Soon, the Douglas' house is a zoo and the locals are ready to run Lisa out of town.

The only thing Oliver learns at a farming convention is how to get a hangover. He and Lisa meet up with Charlie, a former gangster-turned-farmer, and Wanda, his floozy dancer wife. The more Charlie talks about his farm, the more Oliver's convinced that his criminal days are not in the past.

A desperate Ralph Monroe joins a computer dating service to meet a husband. Oliver thinks it's a great idea since computers are always right. Lisa thinks they can't possibly take the place of romance, so she challenges Oliver to test their match-up on the electric brain.

Oliver has to choose between being a farmer or lawyer when he gets an offer to practice in Washington, D.C. The official-looking letter, however, has the locals convinced that Oliver is hiding a juicy secret from them. After ruling out bootlegger and counterfeiter, that leaves only one choice: CIA agent.

When the cast takes ill, the Douglases become stars in a charity production of "The Beverly Hillbillies." After Eb "punches up" a script from the series, Hank Kimball plays Jed Clampett, Oliver appears as Jethro, and Lisa portrays Granny with a combination Hungarian/southern accent.

According to Oliver, every farm wife should be growing her own vegetables so Lisa starts a garden. Armed with useless pamphlets from Mr. Kimball and a flask of perfume, Lisa begins work. It's hardly a money-saving proposition after she buys a tractor, farm supplies, and hires Alf and Ralph as her housekeepers.

Once Eb's wild story about meeting space aliens hits the press, tourists descend on the Douglas farm to meet the new celebrity. Oliver's more concerned about the crowd trampling his crops, but the Air Force takes his claim seriously. At least at first.

Tired of Doris' nagging about having to beat their laundry on a rock in the creek, Fred buys a Grabwell washing machine from Mr. Haney. The boat motor in a barrel goes berserk, spraying water and clothes everywhere before chasing the Ziffels out their front door. Oliver is more than happy to take their case and stick it to Haney in the courtroom.

Ralph Monroe is distraught when her beloved "Hankie" Kimball is fired as the county agricultural agent. His replacement is so rude and insulting that even Oliver is plotting to get Kimball rehired. His scheme is to scare the new guy away by fixing him up with Ralph.

Lisa says that women in her family must marry an American every fourth generation to keep the huge ring she now wears. She regales Hooterville with the story of her great, great grandmother, the Queen of the Gypsies, and her courtship of an American artist, Cornelius. Much stealing and dancing is involved.

While fixing the roof, Oliver accidentally drops a hammer on Lisa's head, giving her amnesia. Initially, he's upset because she doesn't even recognize him. On the up side, the "new" Lisa can actually cook a decent meal. Oliver begins to suspect she's faking just so he'll take her to New York for the opening of opera season.

Eb becomes obsessed over winning a contest on a Pixley radio station. To win, he has to listen around the clock and identify all the groovy tunes. That becomes even harder after Eleanor the cow swallows the radio Oliver had just bought him for his birthday.