Citizen Smith

- Season 3

(1979)

With his scooter impounded by the police, Shirley moved to Italy for work and Dad threatening to evict him a depressed Wolfie climbs on to the pub roof and threatens to jump. Police constable Brian Tofkin comes up to save him but he is a depressive with a worse life than Wolfie and has to be rescued by Harry Fenning. Wolfie sees his gesture as a failure but at least the publicity has prevented Dad from evicting him and Ken.

To protest against the building of a new squash court Wolfie and his little band break into the council building the night before the meeting with a view to throwing manure over the councillors. However the meeting has been cancelled due to a flu epidemic and the lads find themselves stuck in a lift with an elderly attendant who sees the whole thing as a welcome break from his humdrum existence and asks to keep the bag of manure for his garden. They expect to be arrested but find that the security forces have also gone home.

Wolfie owes Harry Fenning a hundred pounds for damaging the pool table in his pub so Harry devises a way Wolfie can work off the debt but it involves 'borrowing' a car. After failing to get one from a dodgy car salesman Wolfie persuades Dad that his car needs mending so that he can use it to pay off Harry. A disgusted Ken believes that Wolfie is to be the getaway driver when Harry steals the silver from the Masonic lodge but the real reason for Wolfie's services is much more mundane.

Wolfie is approached by PC Tofkin, now a detective, who, in return for keeping quiet about Wolfie's recent activities, wants him to steal an incriminating notebook from the office of Harry Fenning, whom he blames for the break-up of his marriage. Whilst Mum and Dad entertain Harry Wolfie, Ken and the nervous Tucker set about laying the dynamite to open Harry's safe but use rather too much, causing an almighty explosion. However the real bombshell comes next day when Harry tells Wolfie the truth about Tofkin.

When Dad evicts Ken and Wolfie they sneak back in again as 'official' squatters so Dad rigs up booby traps to prevent them slipping out for supplies and turns off the electricity. The squatters attempt a daring Colditz-style escape, which is inadvertently thwarted by Mum but Dad has cause to regret asking Harry Fenning to help with his efforts to get the lads out.

Whilst performing at the pub Wolfie attracts the attention of the wealthy Caroline, who invites him to a party at her aristocratic father's house. However Ken has begun dating Phillipa, Caroline's down to earth friend, who warns them that the only reason Wolfie has been invited is so that Caroline and her obnoxious brother Gavin can humiliate him. Thus Wolfie, armed with a socially biting song, some muscle from Harry and a goodly supply of laxative which with to lace the punch, is ready to turn the tables on them.

After a night's heavy drinking Wolfie, Ken, Tucker and Speed wake up on Salisbury Plain to fins a tank that has been left behind from an army exercise, so Wolfie decides that they should make a statement by driving it to the Houses of Parliament - which they do, only to find them empty due to the summer recess. Wolfie then hides it in Dad's garage - which does not bode well for Dad's garden gnomes.