All stars: De serie

- Season 3

(2001)

The team has found a new player, Berrie, a driving instructor with a heavy southern accent and laid-down mentality. The chairman eagerly installs a notice for his private parking spot, which is cheerfully ignored by the players, but also by a posh outsider, Barrie Mens, chairman of an exclusive golf club which is moving into the neighboring land, but crushes his foot to make the 'suit' move his superior car. The Swift Boys are startled to find a soccer league program got the Poldervogels to anglicize their name into Lowland Birds and turn sissy. The chairman first ...

When he learns the team is celebrating its '75th lustrum' (actually a 5-yearly anniversary), Johhny decides to organize a lottery with Nemo, permitted by the chairman provided the club gets 75% of the profits. Johhny's plan is to be stingy on prizes, but on top of inexperience and his un-Dutch poor commercial flair -Nemo has some sales talent, no drive- they lack capital to actually purchase any prizes, so they only present photos of the prizes they intend to buy once the profits are in, but don't sell nearly enough tickets, the cheapest of which are fl.50, just too ...

After an office row with his boss, Mark impulsively gives his notice and decides to start his own firm: delivering breakfasts on bed, ordered by Internet. Roos's suspicions about his managerial skills prove justified, as he convinces his two unemployed soccer mates to become his bumbling, yet paid deliverers, as Nemo can't stay awake in the morning and test client Peter experiences the hard way Johnny has a worse bedside manner then a charging rhinoceros. Nevertheless when bitchy ex-con Nadja is hired in the inept duo's place, their mates all consider this treason ...

When Nemo tells his new girlfriend Renée wants him to keep his hands to himself till they know each-other better but is all over his body, they suppose it must be a cross-dresser. Mark feels a wreck without sex or a job, but revives when the club is visited by Austrian producer-director Romek Spandau, who is looking for healthy Dutch jocks as actors, 1,5000 Euros an hour. Mark, Peter, Berrie and Johnny are selected but hesitate when Berrie remembers the Tyrolian is famous for porn, accept though hearing Nadia is among the female cast. On the set however, watched by ...

Two American drug dealers hold the showering Swift Boys at gunpoint because they want to know where Willem is.

The chairman has no luck finding an experienced volunteer to train a new soccer team- until the Swift boys' horny ears hear the words 'girls team' - suddenly they fall all over each-other for the job, which is wisely given to gay captain Bram, but when he is prevented by court business, Johnny and Berrie -who even turned down three paying driving school clients- both take the field, to dazzle the girls with a nasty display of dirty tricks. A black female referee says soccer is a man's game, so no sissy wining about the adversaries painful knocks and kicks even right ...

Peter is tricked by foxy younger colleague Tineke Robertson into driving her home, checking for burglars, choosing a color, zipping her dress, bringing her bag to find her naked and willing, but runs away to Mark, who hates being forced by Rose into role-playing each-other as marriage therapy and sees no problem in encouraging cheerful infidelity, even goes so far as to invite her to the club. Nemo is prepared for his drivers test by roommate Johnny and professional instructor Berrie, but can only control his test-stress with weed, which works at the theory exam, but ...

Nemo's unemployment allowance is cut after proof of cohabitation is found, the soccer mates only pretend to give him job advice and application training. Peter finds lazy Nemo's natural talent: medical guinea-pig, for which house-mate Johny believes to be lazy enough too. Roos's 'interest injection therapy' makes her shout at the soccer mates by the field, to their anger and some physical pain, and forces Mark to wast words on her body just when soccer is on TV, but the anatomical truth isn't appreciated at all, so he also comes sleep in the test clinic. The trio ...

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Once more only ten other players turn up, so Bram plays despite a hurt ankle- and wounds it so badly he must be taken to ER, for which only Mark volunteers, in order to dodge Roos's monthly 'shopping Sunday', a desertion she doesn't forgive... Bram's pain turns into bliss when he exchanges loving glances with sweet, hunky male nurse Henri, an ideal dating partner he soon shares the bed with. Meanwhile Berrie and Johny come up with a 'golden' idea: a Big Brother-like TV format on the team, 'Big Soccer', which Paul suggests to spike with some nude they would like to see...

One of the Swiftboys' Sunday football pleasures is verbally abusing the referee, but this time a member of the Dutch Soccer League's disciplinary committee actually takes offense to their reported use of terms like son of a whore and blind queer, so - he has a blind, gay twit delivered by his ma, a cheap hooker, for their next match against nice farm-boys. No harm is done although the entire game happens literally behind the ref's back, except by him, he literally gets lost, in the mote and caught in a net. Antillian Paul, who was ridiculed ruthlessly by the mates for...

As if the Swiftboys weren't depressed enough by the fact it's their last match for the season, their girls and Bram's gay mate Henri pay them no attention, being coached by the chairman for a sports feat of their own: participating in the annual Rotterdam marathon. On the assumption 'athletes' must be fitter by definition, the ever-bumbling boys decide to enter last-minute themselves, but it soon becomes clear their utter lack of training or planning means that Paul, who betted on them against feminist Nadja, and is already on crutches after an equally ill-considered ...

The Swiftboys are startled to get invitations for nurse Henri's wedding to Abraham Jozef Rood, i.e. their gay captain Bram. Mark only meant it as a sarcasm, but the others decide the appropriate attention is to cross-dress as female singers, e.g. the right wig turns Peter into a credible Nana Mouskouri. When their car breaks down on the way to the party hall, where Bram's Uncle Jan's speech stirs both laughter and a family feud till a fist-fight ensues, the boys refuse to call for professional help, fearing to become a national laughing-stock, so they try their thumbs...