Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

- Season 7

(2008)

Tim, a camp young man, becomes the new manager at the Archer and has a theme night dedicated to John Barrowman with Donna working alongside him. Jonny has won an adventure holiday in Hawaii jumping over sharks, and an envious Gaz tries to emulate him to bring some excitement into his own life via stunt-riding, fire-eating, and the nude balloon dance. But Janet takes a phone call that brings horrible news about Jonny.

Janet is going through the five stages of bereavement: DABDA, or Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. Gaz is helping her, and frankly, Donna is rather suspicious of his motives. On the positive side--sort of--Louise announces that she is pregnant.

Having found God, Munch returns, while Louise organizes a fake seance to persuade Janet, who is heavily strapped for cash, that she should move in with her. Janet herself comes up with a theme for Donna and Gaz's wedding: Dead Jonny. Meanwhile, Donna tries to get Tim to come out, as he is obviously gay; however, he reveals that he is married to Helena, a female rugby player who is away on tour, and the resulting fallout leaves Donna running the pub with depressed Janet and crazy Munch.

While Janet finds herself unable to look at Jonny's newly-arrived headstone, Donna is running the pub with her wedding only a week away, so she's too busy to prepare for it, and Munch loses God. Louise is annoyed when she learns that her baby is a girl because she thinks the baby will be prettier than she is, but after a scary moment of thinking the baby died, she accepts that she will love her anyway.

Donna and Gaz have their wedding, with Munch as best man, but since Janet organized it, the theme is decidedly Jonny-oriented. After the wedding, Louise tells Janet that she should get rid of some of Jonny's things to try to get over him so Janet gives Louise a box of items to take to the charity shop. These include a letter from the hospital stating that Jonny was not Corinthian's father, which Louise opens and reads. Meanwhile, Janet feels attracted to Munch.

Six months have passed and Louise is heavily pregnant--and claiming that it doesn't show. She finds out that because Janet has not been opening her mail since Jonny's death, she missed the letter informing her that she will be evicted for nonpayment of rent. Louise tries to help by introducing Janet to Aidan, who has just robbed a post office, but all he has to offer is a spit roast. Gaz is interested in buying Janet's house, but Donna, who has aspirations and is going for a job interview to get out of the Archer, wants something rather more up-market.

Donna and Gaz are living with Janet, but Donna is after a high-powered job in London, which she gets by learning how to bluff her way through the interview. Janet and Gaz recall their old relationship and end up having sex together. As Donna is about to move to London and Gaz is not keen to go, he now has a dilemma on his hands. Louise realises that, though Donna was to be her birthing partner, she must now go it alone.

Donna prepares to go to London on her own after Gaz tells her that he is going back to Janet and Donna throws a glass of beer over him. However she has found a new man of her own in London, Wesley Presley, and tells Gaz that he and Janet are well-suited to each other as they are both 'scum, but in a nice way'. Helped by Munch, Louise gives birth to a beautiful baby girl in the Archer; she tells him she will name the baby Louise Munch Brooks, though the father is Donna's brother Dion, but she actually names her Louise Louise Brooks.

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