The Phil Silvers Show

- Season 4

(1958)

Bilko gambles on the purchase of an Army surplus crate with undisclosed contents. It contains a hidden map to a gold mine in Grove City, California, which results in the personnel of Ft. Baxter, in its entirety, transferring from Roseville, Kansas to Camp Fremont in California, which has been closed for years.

Ritzik leaves Bilko's poker sessions early to watch his favorite horror movies. Bilko convinces Ritzik that he's a vampire. Hollywood are looking for a new horror movie star, Bilko tries to convince them he has just the man for the job.

Bilko invests money in a broken down coach and plans to fix it up and set up a coach travel service for GI's. When the railroad offers a cheaper deal, The Bilko Bus Company decides to offer deluxe tours of California.

When Bilko gets his hands on a surplus of burlap sacking he spots a money-making opportunity when he thinks he can talk the Pentagon into making the new-issue army uniforms from burlap.

Bilko's rival Sgt.Covington's dances and poker nights start proving more popular than Bilko's & Ernie starts an all-out war. It's not long before the battling Sgt.'s are pulling out all the stops and using every dirty trick in the book.

Bilko is on furlough in San Diego with only $7 between him, Paparelli and Zimmerman. He hears about a Navy crap game and wins a fortune but then ends up at sea as a serving sailor.

Bilko falls head-over-heels in love after he's trapped in an elevator with a beautiful woman. He's desperate to find her but it seems it can't find anyone who can help him find his mystery girl.

Pvt.Lindsay Crosby arrives at Camp Fremont and Bilko learns that he's the son of Bing Crosby. Bilko begins to imagine what life would be like if he, rather than Bing, was head of the Crosby clan.

Bilko uses Col. Hall's tax refund for his own purposes. He develops an allergy to playing cards and has to give up poker. The doctor discovers that Bilko is suffering from a guilt complex over the way he treated Colonel Hall.

Bilko is sent to San Francisco & the Col. asks the Chaplain to accompany him. The Chaplain takes Bilko to see his pet project - a center for military kids. Bilko realizes that the Chaplain has been duped by a crooked real estate dealer.

Bilko stages a concert with some of Hollywood's biggest names - Frank Sinatra, Kim Novak and The McGuire Sisters. The names are famous but the faces aren't. When Doberman sends a letter the real McGuire Sisters arrive at Camp Fremont.

Bilko is sent to Yucca Flats to work on a nuclear test program. Ritzik is magnetized by one of the scientists machines. They skip the base and head for Las Vegas where Rupert is keen to demonstrate out his 'attractive' gambling skills.

Bilko wins $25,000 in prizes. When he has to pay taxes on his winnings he comes up with a way to dispose of the prizes and starts his own quiz show in Grove City. All is going well until Doberman becomes a big hit with the audience.

Bilko needs $500 to open a pool room. He hears the Ritziks have been visiting medium Madame Zaboda for advice & spots the chance to make money. When he finds out that Emma & Rupert are being conned he sets out to take down Madame Zaboda.

When jazz musician Skinny Sanders arrives at Camp Fremont, he keeps Bilko and the platoon awake with his music. Bilko is about to have him transferred to Alaska when he finds out that Skinny is actually a famous jazz musician.

Hollywood star Monica Malamar is ordered to clean up her image & embarks on a romance with Bilko. When he reaches Hollywood he plays the shy, country boy but it's not long before he's up to his scheming tricks.

Bilko learns that a movie is to be made about him - but just who will play him?

Bilko invests $300 in a run-down hotel. Chester Hilton is voted president of the hotel and Bilko calls it The Grove City Hilton, hoping that the Hilton group will want to buy out his hotel in order to keep the good name of their business.

When Bilko is unable to pay the restaurant bill on a date he tries to take out a credit card and is refused. He sets up the GI's Gourmet a Diners Club credit card for the soldiers of Camp Fremont. But is Bilko onto a winner?

Bilko, Doberman, Zimmerman, and Paparelli are on a 3-day pass for some wild fun in Tijuana. A gang of bandits robs them of their money and something even more valuable - their uniforms and identification papers.

Col. Hall is furious when he's passed over for promotion. Bilko decides to give the Col.'s promotion chances a boost by getting him into the President's golfing foursome and it's not long before John Hall is mixing it with the President.

Bilko finds a new prospect in WAC Polly Porter. She's a crack shot with a rifle and Bilko sets out to promote her as the new Annie Oakley... but love rears its head and threatens to thwart Bilko's plans.

Pvt. Jenkins dumps his hooch in the engine of a jeep. When he gets some of the mix on his face he looks younger. Bilko asks the beauty industry to buy the miracle cream. All looks good until they discover it has some unusual ingredients.

A fitness instructor is placed in Bilko's platoon. To get rid of him and to make some money, Bilko tries to get him cast in a Tarzan movie. To do this, Bilko tries to fix it so his man wins the Mr. Universe contest. First step: he hires a woman ('Lucille Ball' in a cameo appearance!) to scream when his man goes on stage. When this fails, he dresses Doberman up in a gorilla suit to fight his "Tarzan". Col. Hall sees the "gorilla" and soon has the whole camp hunting for him.

A tough lieutenant gives Bilko and his platoon a hard time. When the lieutenant is transferred, Bilko decides to have someone from his own platoon promoted to officer status. Who better than mild-mannered Dino Paparelli?

Wanting the best for his godson Bilko tries to enroll him in the Stanford University class of '77. When he discovers that Stanford will only accept reservations from former students he has to find a way to enroll himself in the university.

Colonel Hall tricks Bilko into subjecting himself to a secret experiment conducted by the Army. Unbeknownst to Bilko, he's being dosed with tranquilizers.

Bilko plots to make a fortune by picking up stock market tips, while serving as a butler at a high-society dinner.

Emma Ritzik persuades Rupert to leave the army and get away from Bilko. Rupert buys a diner and when Bilko pays a visit he realizes that Ritzik has been duped into buying the run-down diner and sets out to get him his money back.

Bilko opens a showroom selling sport cars of his own design made from Army jeep parts.

Doberman is the long-lost heir of Lord and Lady Rockford, which means he's first in line to inherit fifty million dollars. Of course, Bilko has a plan to get in on the action.

Bilko establishes the only legal gambling casino in California. Everything is going fine, until a group of mobsters muscle their way in.

During a heat wave, Sergeant Bilko schemes to be sent to a ski lodge in the Rockies for a rest cure. To do so, he first has to convince Colonel Hall that he needs to take his wife on a second honeymoon.

Grover & Ritzik win $600 & Bilko wants their winnings. They hide from Bilko but are suckered into volunteering for a special detail involving a space chamber where they think they will be alone for three days. But Bilko has other plans.

Henshaw sets up Gamblers Anonymous at Camp Fremont. With no GI's left to bilk Ernie targets the WACs. When he sneaks into the WAC's quarters to pick up his loot their barracks are put into quarantine due to an outbreak of measles.

Col. Hall installs CCTV at Camp Fremont. When he spends the weekend at Lake Tahoe, Bilko brings in a lookalike and has all the cameras removed. The Col. comes home early and finds what Bilko has been up to.