Not on Your Nellie

- Season 3

(1975)

Jed has left the pub to get married and Cousin Stanley comes to run it. He needs the vicar's signature on a document to have extended hours for the darts tournament. In order to get it, Nellie and Stanley have to volunteer for the church. From Scouts to Girl Guide leader, to shoveling pig stalls, they do whatever it takes. Will they get the permission they need?

An author is looking for haunted pubs and Stanley convinces him the Brown Cow is haunted, so he agrees to spend the night. The gang dress up in period costumes to frighten him. They get stuck in the secret passage and he hears them screaming and runs out, then Nellie sees a real one.

Mr. Littlejohn, the director of the brewery volunteers Nellie to look after a French exchange student. She has just broken her ankle after falling off Gilbert's tandem bicycle. She really does not want to do it, but he insists. Michel is a womanizer and they can't keep him on the straight and narrow. At the Art Gallery, Nellie crashes into a painting and fractures her other leg.

Stanley's cousin Alf comes to visit. As Stanley and Gilbert are demonstrating how Nellie broke her ankle, Stanley breaks his. Alf is left in charge and offers to give Brenda a costume party for her birthday. They get caught drinking after closing and are all arrested. Alf makes such a mess of his trial, they are all free to go.