De kotmadam

- Season 6

(1996)

After a few burglaries, the city borough's most arrogant busybody Mrs. Hulpiau, whose mailbox was vandalized, gets landlady Jeanne to "volunteer" everybody for a neighborhood watch (hence the Dutch title). They all think it's absurd, but once found out to have committed minor nightly vandalism as a prank they don't dare refuse since Jeff and Odilon, being in the civil service, could loose their jobs. So patrol duos are formed, only too eager to concentrate on anything but crime: playing with the walkie-talkies, hiding to duck patrol duty. The only exception are Jeanne...

Futile idealist Sam just volunteered for the Red Cross, so she promotes blood donations. Jeff laughs at the idea, until Odilon points out that as civil servant that entitles him to a day off, just now he needs one to go fishing with a mate who rented a boat; being scared of needles, he convinces Odilon to give blood under his name, but the lab reports serious anemia- even better, now his wife Jeanne will spoil him instead of calling him lazy? Alas, Jo is out for vengeance since he failed to pay up for his dentistry advice, so now he gets a disastrous medical bulletin ...

Since Jeanne won't allow Jef to go fishing until his door fixing chore is done, but his dogsbody Odilon is unavailable, they hire Odilon's cousin Eugene, who proves eager but disastrously clumsy and dumb, even compared to Odilon. Meanwhile Sam receives a letter that her official scholarship will be suspended, but is too proud to ask Jeanne for a month rent delay; big spender Betty shamelessly asks an extension for the same good reason, even though her father is too rich to qualify for one...

When a student who's going to Tibet distributes all his worldly goods among his friends, Jo becomes one just in time to get his laptop. Nozy Ria finds a manuscript on it for a passionate novel entitled "Blind love" (also the episode's title), which she sends to a publishing firm which is even prepared to pay a retainer, believing the protagonist William the blind painter ad his flame Victoria are based on them two; only Jo has never written a paragraph, and the last chapter is missing, and there's worse... Meanwhile Odilon is determined to learn a magic trick for a ...

Jeanne is furious that all aunt Odette left her Jeff in her last will is a measly 'organ' (actually an expensive harmonium), and even considers having the will contested in court by Ria, who needs the money to pay Jo for a portrait in legal toga at the law firm where she's starting a cadet-ship. Augustine 'Gust' Vleerackers, Koen's granddad ('Opa' in Dutch, hence the title), was put on the bus on senior pilgrimage to Lourdes, but jumped off in Leuven, and now wants to sleep a few nights with his grandson, without Jeanne knowing as she would inform his daughter. Yet ...

Naive Sam's next way to save the world is a campaign against fur coats; her most eager fellow -and amorous admirer- Joerie decides to 'kidnap' a mink coat to demand the release of all minks in Belgium, and brings it over for Sam to hide, which she finds really scary after asking law student Ria 'for a friend' about fencing. Jeff lied to Jeanne again about his last days off to secretly take part in a fishing tournament with Odilon, and ends up promising her a week in the Black Forrest (Germany). When she finds the coat by accident, he lets her believe it's an ...

Odilin leaves his sick canary (in colloquial Dutch 'kanariepiet', hence the title) at Jeffs. Since Ria considers birds unhygienic, especially in a cage in the kitchen, she cries allergy as soon as Jeff sneezes, but neither knows it's his allergy for cats, as Koen's girlfriend has left her pussy with him in a basket he kept hidden in his room helped by Jo. Impulsive Sam takes the canary out of its cage to keep her awake while working on a paper, but tells nobody, so they think it's lost, which starts a regular comedy of errors. Meanwhile Betty, who was just surprised ...

When the royal couple comes to visit the university town, Jeff chooses not to attend at city hall but take a day off in stead, to Jeanne's horror. Koen is late for a paper, so Jo decides to ask for an extension in his place, pretending the royal heir is coming incognito, but of course his insisting not to tell anybody works inverse: in no time about all their acquaintances are beleaguering the place, and the regulars prepare 'acting normal' with more style, and even inform the press. Sam however prepares a protest against the use of lab animals by releasing frogs...

Madame Hulpiau finds a whole bunch of Jeanne's Belgian waffles are past their expiration date, and announces she'll inform the health department, so they can only be used as breakfast for the students. Despite Odilon and Jeanne's fears, Jeff has gathered wild mushrooms. Shortly after, everybody seems to have cramps or diarrhea, but it later turns out neither suspicious food was eaten by everyone... Meanwhile Betty is furious when she finds out Jo has sneakily used her luxury car for a ride to impress a girlfriend, so she decides to make him believe he has caused it to...

Jo and Koen decide it's time to put haughty Ria in her place, with a fake diagnosis condemning her to a mental asylum. Jef duly dreaded being dragged to Jeanne's class reunion, as she passed him off as wealthy garden designer, yet refuses to retract a lucrative commission offered by posh notary Van Steenbergen, with Odilon playing his even less competent assistant.

When Jeanne hears from ex-colleague Mimy that competing candy shop, De Lekkerbek ('The Epicure'), will be the first in town, the day after tomorrow, to host children visiting the throne of Saint-Nicholas (who in Europe brings them gifts on December 6), she blurts out he's coming at her shop Het Snoephuisje ('The Candyhouse') just tomorrow. In no time several pairs of a Saint and his helper, Zwarte Piet ('Black Pete'), prepare and order costumes independently: Ria who has started a 'young ambitious intellectuals club for the advancement of the economy' and needs ...

When Jef and Odilon disagree with their fishing mate Gerard about the chances of the national soccer team, they end up betting for serious money, knowing Jeanne disapproves of all forms of gambling- just then she walks out, giving Jef kitchen instructions while she's off to Blankenberge (a coastal resort), at the- casino! (actually it has many non-gambling visitors for various other entertainment). Ria finds Jo and Koen slaving over a list of most occurring winning numbers in the lotto, but unable to say whether those are to be used or avoided now the stakes are ...

Jo gives 'tutoring' to schoolboy Pieter, but the subject is academic and yet all but intellectual: cheating at tests! Now Sam is gone, a new girl moves in, Pim Davignon, a railroad-worker's daughter who studies Press & information at a college without university status, but there's initial confusion she might be a daughter of tycoon Etienne Davignon. Odilon wins a trip to a bungalow park, but may only be accompanied by relatives- so Jeanne decides to pretend she's his wife and the students are their five kids; when the firm announces to send a photographer for ...

When mysterious vandals spray Jeanne's sweets shop red with hearts two nights in a row, Jef and Odilon must keep watch, but the only thing they notice all night while using their sleeping bags all to literally is Herman, allegedly Ria's first-ever lover, whose romantic influence has changed her unrecognizable into a cheerful girl. However when the young man reappears in daylight, the other students quickly find out his interest in Ria is actually limited to getting his hands on her reputedly unsurpassed notes in law courses.

Since Jo told Ria she's getting fat, she smuggles in an old gym device, which causes power breakdowns. Pim has invited Patrice, a black student from Suriname (a former Dutch colony in South America) who suddenly became homeless for the night, but is was too late to inform Jeanne, so when she throws Jeff out of the bedroom for refusal to go change her mothers wall-paper he arranges him to scare her out of her wits; since Odilon is even more scared, he launches the theory it's a voodoo problem, which Jeff wants to use to scam his way out of his mother-in-law and Pim to ...

Jef is furious he keeps loosing at billiards from Odilon, so he wants to buy a new stick, but the savings he taught to have stashed away are claimed by Jeanne for a VCR; Odilon promises a cheap VCR, but didn't understand it's contraband. Jo accepts a commission to paint a Monet reproduction, but Koen suggests it may be meant to be sold as real. When the young man Betty thought to be a suitor only wants to make her testify on his behalf in a traffic matter, she calls the police; when a cop comes serve a summons, everybody panic thinking it's for the painting or the VCR.

When Koen repairs a baby-phone for sweetshop-customer Pieter's ma, it soon becomes a weapon in Jo's efforts to discredit Ria, who unlike him is allowed to receive partners of the other gender in her room. Its main use however is by Jeanne herself, to spy on the secret meetings concerning the annual top-secret matter of her up-coming birthday-gift, which she is most eager to steer by means of tips, aided clumsily as ever by Odilon, who was excluded from the committee because he can't keep anything silent.

When Jeanne's hairdresser raises his prices, and her friend Mimi tells her about an expensive 'must-have' beautician, she decides to take Odilon's accidental advice: balance her budget by raising the rent. The students, who were already malcontent about worn-out furniture, are furious - after a war by attempted starvation, cutting of amenities, barricade... they find another approach: accept the rent rise but scam it out of her again...