De kotmadam

- Season 5

(1995)

After another summer spoiled by make up exams, Jo intends to follow model nerd Ria's example and asks her to coach his timely study during the year, but from day one distractions abound. First naive Sam wanted a goose suit to demonstrate against animal abuse in fois gras production, Tineke got her a Donald Duck suit and insists to have handyman Koen install a fan inside, like in Disneyland, but Sam mistrusts it, Ria volunteers to test it to stop the noise and- her hair bun gets caught, nobody helps her out of it as the second distraction strikes. Jeanne has used ...

After Sam imagines to be stalked, the girls shamelessly pretend women are always the victims, all men sex-obsessed scum, even their harmless horny house-mates. So ruthless Ria gives a course of 'self-defense', for which naive Koen is recruited as pretend-attacker, in practice poor victim of systematical, painful physical abuse -even in the crotch- by the bitch trio. Jeanne however fears her husband Jef has lost al healthy sexual interest when he spends hours watching his rare plant seed grow, even Odilon deserts him to go angling alone... Jo's claim only girls who ...

The students all over Leuven (Louvain) are obsessed by a game, each hunting a secret target which must be hit with a plastic dart gun. Jeanne isn't amused by all the lies, pretense and panic, but a remark someone else's landlady is young enough to play along makes her turn helpful, except for Jo whose dart accidentally hits her porcelain statuettes. Even Ria is in the game, but pretends not to... Meanwhile Jef dares not tell Jeanne a certain vamp Charlotte mistakes him for her naughty bachelors dating club date Hugo who promised her a week on Tenerife, and sends ...

Because everyone complains Jeanne's cleaning disturbs their study and recreational activities, she hires professional cleaning help Julia, with surprising effects. Meanwhile Véronique and Sam conduct a sexuological opinion poll, which makes Jef worry if Jeanne would start cheating on him. Julia proves a terrible gossiper, which stirs between Jeanne and her former supermarket colleagues. Julia also seems a serious contender for the heart of bachelor Odilon, who used to rely an Jeanne for kitchen and domestic matters, but he accidentally uses the sex poll questions ...

The mail causes excitement. Jeanne can't wait, but insists to wait to make the fun last, to open the annual tax notice. The sum is even larger then last year, over 32,000 Belgian francs (about 800 Euros), yet she takes Sam's wicked feminist advice to spend the whole rebate on clothes for herself, while Jef plans to buy a small boat from a friend to go angling. Their fun turns into panic when Ria notices that sum is the arrear they owe the treasury! Jeanne decides to redeem their wallet by making flags for Odilon's prison, Jef pretends a friend in trouble needs a loan ...

Jo and Koen plan to exchange their rooms for a week with two Amsterdam students' apartment. The hesitate to tell landlady Jeanne, who is all tears when it seems atypical firmness on her part chases the girls, or all 'her kids'. In fact only Veronique accepted to accompany her hunky lover Jean-Luc on a six month African expedition. Ria plots to get her room, but Jef to get rid if her, while Betty return early from Australia.

Odilon's flue inspires Jef to pretend the same to take a sick day and collect bee keeping equipment from mate Gerard whose wife is tired of bugs all around, but the city's medical inspector duly suspects a serial malinger. Jo and Koen spare no trouble to convince Ria she was infected, Betty goes even further to seek contamination so she can delay her utterly unprepared midterm, but the inspector also works for the university.

Jo and Koen hope to join the dentistry faculty team on match trip to Rome as coaches of the cheerleaders, if their girls win the audition, but Bettie and Sam meanly betray them doubly while persuading stuck-up Ria, who has the hots for uninterested Jo, to offer herself based on irrelevant majorette experience she never even admits so. Jeanne is excited when she hears Ria's father Omer may finally drop by, as the snob let her believe it's a big wig with driver and limousine. In fact he's a jovial mason, who insists helping Odilon repair a drain while Ria tries to hide ...

The students are terrified, some trying to hide so, by the live tarantula spider Betty sneaked in from a university lab, as the scary creeper escapes in Ria's room, so she hides downstairs. Jeanne assumes it's another hoax as Jef and Odilon made several attempts to make her call of hosting a fancy protest committee meeting set up by stuck-up Mrs. Hulpiau, who expects the mayor and luxury catering.

Jo helps lazy Jef to trick his city gardening colleagues into illegally striking 'on principle' for a trifle, and out of it after Jeanne declares her own strike. Koen volunteered as economics frat president candidate's 'PR manager', forcing him to assist loyally but be ignored when warning against the cocky womanizing heartthrob promising first Sam, then Betty, semi-accidentally even Ria, to be his Sonny's Cher at the inter-faculty playback show.

Jo enjoys playing into Jeanne's obviously absurd fear that Odilon, who only wants someone to proofread a convict's love letter, wants an affair with her and renders Jef jealously suspicious. Ria laughs at Sam being inspired by a circus act to try learning hypnosis, which fails on Koen but works on Odilon by accident, but is set-up, blinded by the hope to seduce Jo.

With several lottery tickets around in the house, both Koen and Jeanne believe to have the one that won five million BEF (1.2 million Euros). While Koen wrestles with his consciences and who should get the winnings, while Jeanne must be told she didn't win, she already plans spending quite a bit on an interior decorator to modernize the candy shop. Lady luck proves surprisingly capricious, just like the subjective effects, given a crucial detail.

When Jef's motorcycle breaks down, he frantically urges his cahoot Odilon to repair it by yesterday as his bossy wife Jeanne will otherwise grab her change to buy them a car, but to his despair there is a spare part left over. Meanwhile the students are divided whether to laugh off horoscopes (hence the title) but several sort of change their mind as it fits their purposes; especially Jo, a non-believer who stops at nothing to force a date, goes as far as to start writing horoscopes in the local newspaper instead of a sick friend when he hears a hot chick is nuts ...

Jo obtained a formula from a chemistry student for what he and Koen hope be a lucrative cleaning panacea, but despite clumsy tests they sold some to Jeanne, only to find it soils everything. Jef first helps them cover up, then blackmails them into slavish chores, notably the punitive ones Jeanne imposed on him for trying to hide the city is about to formally decorate him for a quarter of a century (albeit lazy) service of greens department service, and she wants the pomp he hates. Meanwhile Odilon seeks help to write a speech honoring his buddy.

While the students are obsessed with football, urchin Bert shamelessly tricks them into buying and mutually 'advancing' cash for extra lottery tickets for his school's orphanage benefit. Jef refuses to consider buying a car, but Odilon has trouble repairing his motorbike given a mysterious supernumerary part. Jeanne is shocked when Jef calculates her candy shops makes no profit anymore due to competition, so she should close it.

A call from Koen's mother starts the rumor he finally has a girlfriend and a hot one, which makes Jo proud, almost jealous. In fact he confides to his mate it's a lie to keep kin off his back at a wedding. Nevertheless, there is a fellow nerd who just might fit the shy knave.

The landlady & sweets shop keeper Madam Jeanne shows her customary nearly blind confidence in an apparently affluent, charming regular customer, but is soon to find out, as Mr. Krueger is watched by the BOB (hence the title- a Dutch abbreviation for a former Belgian paramilitary police detective branch), he's not in regular business as he made her believe, but stealing diamonds (from the villas of clients who pay him to watch their villas) which he leaves in one of her chocolate boxes, just when the student-tenants were grumbling the boarding diet has been set on ...

When burglaries are reported in the neighborhood, an alarm system is required- to keep it cheap, student Koen and handyman Odilon create, install and test one themselves. Now her latest flame teaches classes in first aid (EHBO is the Dutch abbreviation, hence he title) Betty suddenly develops a 'social conscience' that dictates they must have one in the house. But when he cancels, the others don't tell about that call so they can turn the whole thing into a farce of excessive bandaging and CPR.