Citizen Khan

- Season 2

(2013)

When Alia fails her college exams, Mr Khan hopes she can catch up by attending the Muslim Academy. But it costs money, so he poses as a Catholic and attempts to persuade Professor Stevens that, as a religious minority, he is entitled to a scholarship. The professor turns up at the house while Shazia is entertaining her bridesmaid Debbie and her partner Matt, and Khan is desperate to keep the parties separate so he won't reveal his true religion. The plan fails, of course, but the professor takes Alia anyway, perceiving the Khans to be "disadvantaged."

Naani, Mrs Khan's mother, is visiting from Pakistan, but her daughter fears she is suffering from dementia and is reluctant to let her go home, while Mr Khan wants to be rid of her. Ordered by his wife to cheer Naani up, he takes her to the mosque, where he falls out with manager Dave, and then to a working-men's club, where he is mistaken for the bingo caller and performs very badly. Naani is much cheered when she befriends organizer Clive, with whom she plans to spend a weekend in Bournemouth. Khan is shocked--until Clive makes a confession.

Mr Khan takes Amjad to the mosque, where local MP Tony Abbas is attending a men's health drive campaign, the aim being for Khan to impress Abbas. However, Mr Khan gets wedged under a toilet door and Amjad, climbing the cubicle to rescue him, fears that he has injured his testicles and rendered himself impotent, requiring a trip to hospital. Refusing to let a female doctor examine the lad, Khan does his own peculiar medical, resulting in an all-clear, though the angry Khan womenfolk and Amjad's mother also arrive to vent their anger on Mr Khan, who must take evasive ...

The Imam has declared a fast and Mr Khan is determined to fast for longer than Dave to win a bet. Shazia is planning to work for a year in India to get more money so that she and Amjad can buy a flat together. Mrs Khan is anxious for her daughter to stay in Birmingham, so she sends Khan to the building society to ask for a loan. While waiting to see the manager, he drinks far too much from the water dispenser and ends up relieving himself in the fish-tank. There is consequently no loan. Extremely hungry and regretful of the bet, he returns home to find that Amjad has ...

Shazia and Amjad win a trial day at an exclusive spa with the prospect of membership and take Mrs Khan with them. Meanwhile, Mr Khan is trying to contact famous cricketers on the Internet to open the tombola at the mosque social club, but he accidentally logs onto a dating site and summoning husband-hunting Jackie to the mosque. To hide her from the committee, he pushes her out of a window, then hurries to the spa to explain all to his wife but is mistaken for a yoga teacher and must give a class. When the truth is discovered, the spa owner wants him arrested, leading...

While Mrs Khan, encouraged by her daughters, has a glamorous makeover, her selfish husband is more concerned with appearing in a promotional film Dave is making for the mosque and is annoyed to be passed over for handsome young Sajid. He conspires to get back in the limelight, subjecting himself to a painful waxing process, but suspects that Sajid is having an affair with his wife, hence her makeover. He is proved humiliatingly wrong, but there is a happy ending when Mrs Khan explains why she had the makeover.

While Mrs Khan prepares for a traditional Christmas with relatives, her husband's "charity" consists of stealing family possessions to donate to the mosque in order to be named Muslim of the Month. However, he discovers that the mosque is being used for a Christian Christmas Fayre which takes his donations. Bowing to the majority, he forks out for a Christmas tree but ends up having to play Santa to retrieve a family heirloom given to the mosque, and losing his presents to a gang of kids. With a burnt turkey and stolen fairy lights, this Christmas is memorable for the...